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Just some helpful tips for customers of Movie Gallery:

1. Don't walk in here looking all high and mighty. You're not better than me, you don't have any reason to stick your nose up in the air, and don't throw your credit card/money at me. Hand it to me. Don't be an asshole. You're no hot shot. You're from a small town in MISSOURI. Give me a break.

2. Don't walk in looking like you're from the ghetto. The closest thing to a ghetto is in Kansas City (an HOUR away). I don't think you'd be shopping here if you're from the inner city. Also, you're white. Stop talking in eubonics. It doesn't make you look cool, it just makes me laugh at you when you leave.

3. It is NOT my fault that your movies are late. You are told the day that they are due when you leave the store. If you are not able to remember this, have some sense and write it down. Do not blame it on me. Grow up...you're an adult and should be able to take some responsibility for your own mistakes. Just pay the damn fee and get the hell out.

4. If you want ANYONE to be nice to you, be NICE to them. No one, including me, wants to help a jackass. We deal with assholes all day and definitely don't get paid enough to do it. If you are nice, we'll go out of our way to help you because we appreciate it.

5. I don't care that you're going to go rent at Blockbuster, so threatening that because you're upset at me isn't going to help you at all. If it means that I'll never have to hear your annoying complaints or rude comments again, I'm actually happy to see you go.

6. We close at 10pm. You have from 10am to 10pm to return your movies. I'm not going to check them in at 10:02, 10:15, 10:26, or any other time after 10pm. Sorry. That's our policy. It's been our policy. I'm not going to take off your late fees just because you can't get your movies in within that 12 hour timeslot the day they're due. Again, I say, "Grow up and realize that it is your responsibility to get them in on time."

7. Everything is alphabetized. That means, it starts with numbers, and ends with z. I cannot hold every customer's hand while they try to find each movie. Everyone knows the alphabet, so quit being lazy and walk to the section and get the movie yourself. Another tip: NOTHING is alphabetized by the word "THE". Did you not learn this in school? The Hills Have Eyes is in the "H" section, not the "T" you freaking hillbilly.

8. If the movie you want is all checked out on a Friday or Saturday night, complaining to me or being rude isn't going to make it magically appear. In fact, if you're exceptionally rude, I'm not going to tell you if it does come in. I'll give it to someone who was nice.

9. If we're having a sale, read the entire sign. Often times, sales include specific items or price ranges. It's not my fault that you spent an hour finding movies, and none of them actually apply to the sale. Read the five foot sign hanging above the movies before you waste my time.

10. When someone greets you when you're coming in, or says goodbye when you're leaving, the polite thing to do would be to respond. So do it, because it's incredibly frustrating to be ignored by people who THINK they're better than you.

11. Do NOT come into the store at 9:57pm and expect me to keep the store open for you. I'll tell you when you come in that we are closing in 3 minutes. If you cannot find a movie in that time period, come in tomorrow. We close at 10pm, and that's when I am shutting down the store. Don't act offended. You should have got your lazy asses in the store long before 9:57pm.

12. When I call you, well, when ANYONE calls you, LISTEN. I always say, "Hi! This is Danielle from Movie Gallery in *************. Is [insert name here] available?" I say this clearly and enunciated and still I get, "Where are you from?" Ok, I just freaking told you. LISTEN!!!

13. If you come in and cuss at me, I'm going to kick you out, close your account, and ban you from the store. I don't care if you're frustrated because you have late fees. There is no reason to take it out on me. I don't magically put late fees on people's accounts (although I have been accused of doing so). You have some serious anger problems and I don't get paid to put up with your shit.

14. I have good taste in movies. I'm NOT going to watch Larry the Cable Guy, Norbit, any of the Tyler Perry movies, or Big Mama's House. I"m going to watch movies with some interesting plot.

15. When a movie has a big yellow sticker on the front of it that says "FOREIGN FILM COLLECTION", what do you suppose that means? Don't act disgusted when I tell you that it's subtitled. PLEASE don't ask me if it's in "American". First of all, we speak ENGLISH. Second of all, if it was in English, why would it have that giant yellow sticker on it.


I'm sure I could add more, but I have to get going and get ready for this job. It's an easy job, but it's taught me that I do not enjoy working with the general public like this. I feel my IQ dropping after each encounter with these people.