No big family for me.

One reason on the list of why I don't want a big family:

I absolutely hate it when people use my stuff without asking.

My brother uses my expensive hair stuff. (He VERY short hair, so there is NO reason that he needs to use a hair mask.)

Gah.

Feeling better

Well, I feel better after talking to him last night. It wasn't a fight. I just told him how I was feeling, and he apologized and said that there was an immaturity in him that he needed to work on. I greatly appreciated his honesty and the fact that he was able to admit that he was wrong. I feel so much better!

Birthday stuff:

I have absolutely had it.

I'm sick and tired of being ignored.
I'm sick and tired of being forgotten.
I'm sick and tired of being put behind EVERYTHING else.
I'm sick and tired of being treated like nothing more than an acquaintance.

Don't tell me that you don't do it on purpose. You NEVER do it on purpose, and yet you never make an effort to fix it.

I tell you things and it rolls right off your back. How do you think that makes me feel? (I'll give you a hint, it's NOT good.)


I'm fucking sick of it.

I'm in tears over this, and you couldn't care less.

Another Sunday night

Worked today. It started off terrible. The clasp on my necklace came loose, and when I realized it, I was missing my diamond heart pendant...the very first piece of jewelry Ben gave me. After a tearful search, I found it in a crevice in my car (thank goodness!). I had a stupid guy come in first thing in the morning and try to cheat the system of movies. He was lying, and I knew it. He said, "What's your manager's name?" I answered him. He told me he wasn't going to get me in trouble, and I answered, "I wouldn't get in trouble. I'm following the rules. My manager will tell you the same thing." He left. I had a lady call, and right off the bat she was yelling. I told her to stop and try to explain the situation. After I figured out what happened (she returned the case without the disc in it), she told me that she'd look for it, but if she couldn't find it, we were going to have problems. Excuse me? She later started screaming into the phone, and then hung up on me.
Thank goodness that I had a ton of awesome people that came in later on. I love my customers, but I seriously would love to get a job at a daycare instead of dealing with the assholes in this small town. They treat people like shit, and think they're better than everyone else, but in reality, they're just small town trash.

In other news, this is my last week taking my summer class. I'm definitely not sorry! It's been a LONG 5 weeks! I won't miss the long scholarly journals I have to read, nor will I miss the reports every week! YAY!

I really wish I wasn't still waiting...
I'm just tired of give-give-give, and not getting the same in return. The simplest things are met with resistance, and I don't understand why it's hard to think of me first.

Getting old

It gets frustrating after awhile. It's not fun feeling as if you're just a convenience to the people around you, especially those closest to you.
It doesn't even matter what I say, because I've said it all before. Over and over and over.

Emma is dying. We went up to the nursing home tonight to check on her and she's barely there. I hope she goes peacefully. I'll be sad to see her go, but she's lived a long hard life, and she needs to enjoy some peace.

I don't even really know what else to say. I'm just frustrated at a lot of things, and as usual, I can't find the words to express how I'm feeling.

Goodness

It feels like this summer is just starting. June always feels that way for me.

June 10th will mark the 7 year anniversary of when I lost my grandma. It's still really hard to think about the fact that I'm living my life without her in it. I'm very thankful that my mom and I are close now, just as close as my grandma and I were. I need that kind of relationship. I don't really know what to say, because what I'm thinking gets jumbled up if I try to express it through talking or writing. I just can't get it out. I can't express how I feel about it.

This will be a good month though:
5 year anniversary
Cornerstone
birthday

Hopefully all of those will be amazing. I just want something special planned for me. Just once. Something done for me as a surprise. Something that will make me think, "Wow. [insert name here] really gave a lot of thought about me to make [insert event here] special. I'm lucky." That's all I want. Maybe I sound whiney or childish, but this is exactly how I feel.

In other news, I wish people would shut the hell up about Paris Hilton. I don't care if she's in jail. I think she should have to spend more than the 20 odd days she has because other people in her situation would. Stupid trumped up wanna be celebrity. Geeze. It wouldn't be a big deal, but it's on EVERY channel. I just need to turn my tv off.

Honestly, what is wrong with people?

The people in this town make me want to lock myself up in a room and not have any contact with society ever again. Tonight, it wasn't just about their inability to understand that movies are alphabetized or that when their movies are late, they're going to have late fees. Tonight was more, much more.
We've been getting harassing phone calls, and I got one again tonight. Here's the convo: (keep in mind, there's a lot of slurring from the drunk lady.)
Drunk Lady: Is this Movie Gallery?
Me: Yes, it is.
DL: Someone just now called me and left me a nasty message on my phone telling me that I had late fees and you guys were coming after my ass, motherfuckers....
Me: Fuck you. *click*
I then proceeded to hang up on her. It takes a lot to make me that upset, but there's only so much harassment I can take.
I went back to the back and started to count down the money...I then heard someone banging on the doors screaming, "FUCK YOOOOOOOU!" I grabbed the phone and went to investigate. Some asshole kids were there. I asked them, "Is there a problem?" One smart ass kid said, "Yeah, you're closed and I want a movie." (Sounds just like something my brother would say). I said, "I've got your liscense plates, if you don't leave, I'm calling the police. You're also banned from the store." Then, the tough kids flipped me off. It was quite intimidating. (note the sarcasm, please.)

I just want to know when it became ok for people to treat others that they don't even know like complete shit. It just seems like I've been on the receiving end of this lately, and it's revolved around Movie Gallery. It's really upsetting.

In happier news, Mom and I are doing crafts tomorrow. I'm pretty excited about that. Something to look forward to on my day off from work.