My stomach hurts.

I honestly don't understand people sometimes.

Something sad happened, and you just casually brush it off your shoulder. No words of comfort. Just brush it off and don't worry about it. Oh, and then pick at me about something minuscule furthuring my irratation. Oh, and then pick at me about something else. Please, continue on. I'm pretty much done calling you for any kind of support. I'll only get it from my mom from now on.
Stop playing your game when I'm trying to talk to you.
When I said I had a really bad day, you said, "No worries." What? Were you even listening to what I was saying? No. You weren't. You were playing your game and giving that your attention. When will I be number 1?
Whatever.

Some exciting things are coming up, and I'm not even excited.

I've lost someone for the third time this year. Goodbye, Aunt Ruby. I'll never forget the delicious brownies you gave me when I came over to your house. I'm sorry I didn't get to see you before you go. I hope that now that you're in Heaven, you can remember everything all over again. Just know that you were wonderful, and enjoy your time with Grandma. I hope you're happy and peaceful now.

Why is it that death is coming around this year? Phillip, Emma, Aunt Ruby. 3 people in less than 6 months. Last year was Dean and Harry. I shouldn't be able to name 5 people who have died in less than 2 year's time. I'm only 21. I shouldn't be losing this many people. It's making me afraid of losing people even more. I'm terrified to lose my mom. I don't know what I would do. I fought with her so much growing up, pushed her away, we both misunderstood one another, and now we're closer than I could have ever imagined. What will I do when she's gone? It's a fear that I carry with me everyday. I haven't told anyone, because everyone I know just brushes serious stuff that I say right off. So I keep it inside.